Adventures In Female Ejaculation: Dude. I Finally Squirted.
Female ejaculation. It’s one of those things that in the sexy savvy circles seems to things to aspire to- well at least, I was aspiring to. I’ve read a ton of bloggers are able to do it and of course, wanted to join the cool club and learn how to squirt myself.
Except, that for the longest time, I friggin’ couldn’t.
I tried everything. I’ve had vibrators, I’ve even picked up the njoy Pure Wand. I got Tristan Taormino’s Female Ejaculation DVD (which we loved!) in order to get geeky and figure it out, since obviously there was something we missed.
One sexy Sunday afternoon, we popped in the DVD. Warmed up the Pure Wand, got some lube and had some sexy inspiration from the tutorials (which are half educational, half porn.) We went at it, and worked my gspot for a good, long while. I got off, but alas, no squirting.
I put the wand back in the case, and the idea on the shelf for awhile and figured that I probably either A.) couldn’t squirt or B.) wouldn’t for awhile.
Three weeks later, we put in the other DVD we had picked up, Kinky Sex For Couples. Truly, we’re explorative folks, but still rather vanilla in terms of kink and we wanted our foray into kinkness to a bit more, guided, rather than our typical fumbling in the dark.
This was actually our third time putting the DVD in- every time they’d introduce a scene with a new couple, we’d typically get hot and heavy and seemingly savoring things a chapter at a time. By the third round though, we finally put a kink kit I’d purchased months ago to good use.
It seemed we had fallen into a routine- albeit a sexy routine, but still, we had been going with what works. It was time to bust out the leather goods that had been purchased from a shop after a night out, and the feather cuffs we picked up after a date night. Both were purchased with good intentions but hadn’t been used.
He slipped the blindfold on me and with my hands above my head, he fastened the feather cuffs. The texture was fabulous- I love feathers.
I had absolutely had no idea how being blindfolded would change how sex felt.
We actually got inspired by the DVD to put on the blindfold and put our massage candle to good use (inspired by one of the scenes in the Kink DVD). He took his time massaging, going down on me, and kissing me all over.
It was really fucking delicious. Not being able to see, or use my hands was stimulating and I think it made the neurons in my brain fire a bit differently. I paid attention. I reveled.
It sounds stupid, but a fucking blindfold is what did it.
After he toured my body and made it hum, we had sex on the Liberator wedge which I’d been propped up on for easier cunnilingus (Because honestly, who wants a cramped neck when giving head?) and the intimacy of the angle on top of the g-spot stimulation was lovely. He came in me, which is also one of my favorite things as we’re fluid bonded- and I continued to play with myself with my wand.
When I finally came, I came with a flood. Squirting isn’t the right word, but it’s the word that works. It was a wave of warmth, and it flowed- but it didn’t really “squirt.”
At first, I thought it was simply his ejaculate trickling out, then I realized that it was far too watery and it felt totally different than anything I’d experienced before. It was warm, hot and happened without me thinking about it.
That though- may be the key. Stop thinking about it so much. Learn the ropes, then let go of the ropes and just enjoy the exploration.
When I had focused on trying to ejaculate with the nJoy Pure Wand, as I’d been told it is the toy to use to ejaculate- it didn’t happen. I love the toy, but my brain, being the bigger plaything of the two, was fixated.
It was when my partner and I took my analytical brain out of the equation, focused on sensory play and a spirit of exploration that things happened. I knew squirting would take an investment- but I was foolish in thinking that a wand and a DVD would be the investment I needed. It started the process, and the exploration- but there is no magic pill, toy or process that will somehow make your sexual process work robotically.
Playtime. I love it, I eat it up, and it’s delicious. When I was completely able to reframe our play and let loose a bit- that’s when it happened. I can’t promise what it would look or feel like for you, but keep searching. Push all the damn buttons. Take some time. Try things you don’t think you’d like. Pop in a DVD. Play a hell of a lot, and have fun.
Squirting is fun, but the pressure to do so can be a frustrating buzzkill. Finally being able to say squirting was a thing I could do, is nice and all, but really, discovering what truly turned me on to get to that point was the biggest win.
Allowing myself to have a sensual afternoon by turning off my senses and turning on whatever else my mind typically wouldn’t allow itself to play with was truly enlightening.
Right now, I’m not as fixated on replicating the squirting itself, but I am very much intoxicated with the idea that there are more avenues to explore that can get me that excited again. It’s a fabulous, erotic and tantalizing journey.